So at first this was going to start out as a tweet, but I can only cover so much ground with 140 characters. In time, it progressed into a semi-lengthy facebook status that was complete and utter shit. You’ve seen those statuses before. Those overly excessive inspirational statuses that leave you with more questions than answers. Well, it wasn’t really that bad, but for the most part it was nothing but nonsense. Not that you can expect this to be any different. Obviously. But at least I had some time to organize these thoughts into something worth reading. Stay with me here, people.
So now here were are. Another god damn blog post. This post is nothing more than my current state of mind. Nothing more than being caught in between those pivotal transition periods throughout our lives. Nothing more than me trying to figure out what comes next at 25. And who knows, maybe I’ll piece it together as I get these thoughts out of my mind, organized, and onto this screen.
Lately I’ve been catching myself thinking how weird of an age 25 has been so far. Granted I’m only a few months in. But still. And I don’t mean this as a bad weird, but just weird in general if that makes sense. I guess for starters, without a doubt I’ve been noticing a shift in the way that I’ve been thinking. I’ve noticed it slowly shift from this kind of neurotic, obsessive type of thinking, to a more smooth and calculated approach to how I assess everything now a days. By all means this isn’t a bad thing either. It’s actually been a really refreshing change of pace. I feel way more in control, more than I ever use to be at least. But on the flip side of this, I feel that even as chaotic as my thinking used to be, it was beneficial. Beneficial in the sense that out of all of that madness, I was able to reach in and pull out some valuable ideas from time to time. Jordan Peterson, a Canadian psychologist, kind of hits on this point after Joe Rogan, on his podcast, tells him how good he has it Canada. Jordan Peterson goes on to say that as good as he may have it in Canada, he would rather live in the United States. That in the United States we have the extremes of the highs and the lows that permeate throughout our culture, whereas Canada flatlines somewhere right in the middle of the two extremes not leaving much room for expression throughout the Canadian culture. So now with my thinking riding on cruise control, so to speak, those gems for ideas aren’t coming around quite as often as I would like; or at least it doesn’t feel like it. I’ve been more content with life and more at peace than I’ve been in a long time, but with that comes this realization that maybe contentment and ambition can’t co-exist. That maybe a life without the highs and lows doesn’t leave much room for creativity to thrive. So yeah, there’s part one of my quarter life crisis (joking, obviously) and with that leads us to part two.
Part two: knowing what I knew when I was 20, but didn’t actually start to hit home until recently; that I didn’t want to just be catching up with myself by the time that I was 30. I’ve always said that I want to be successful by the time that I’m 30. Everyones has their own version of success. Some it’s money. Others it’s status. The list goes on. As for me, anytime I go to define success, it turns into more of this vision of how I see my future going. This isn’t a singular vision but a conglomerate of future ideas touching base in multiple areas of my life. I don’t need millions and when all is said and done, I want to live my life on my terms. I don’t want to work for anybody. I can’t work for anybody. It’s not in me to work for somebody for the rest of my life. I don’t want someone telling me what time to come into work. I don’t want someone telling me when I can or can’t take vacation days. How are you going to work year round just for someone else to tell you that you can only take 14 days off. . . .somethings not right there. Fourteen fucking days?! What is that shit?! You guys reading this are probably going “no shit, don’t we all want this?” Oh absolutely. But, me being naturally curious when it comes to people, I tend to people watch. A lot. You do this long enough and you’ll start to notice the people who aren’t living the life they desire. You watch them slowly start to comprise different areas of their life for a future that doesn’t quite seem to fit what they had envisioned for themselves 10 years prior. You even see this with people my age! Already giving up in different areas of their life acting like 25 is the new 50. And not that there is anything wrong at 50 because even at 50+ people are still getting it done! They’re not out there making excuses for themselves. And I get it, things do happen throughout life. Or certain obligations make it that much harder to get where you truly want to be. But it’s not impossible. There’s only so many times you can make excuses before you realize that at the end of the day, if you’re not living the life that you desire, you only have yourself to blame. It’s as simple as that when you get past all the bullshit.
Here we are to wrap this up. Part three: talk is cheap my friend. I don’t think I’ve missed any opportunities in my life, but lately there’s been this undeniable, constant nagging of, “Hey man, what comes next? How do we add onto plan A or do we find a way to combine plan A & plan B?” So the last piece of the puzzle in all this weirdness is to take action. And not just any action as Ryan Holiday puts it in The Obstacle Is The Way, but directed action; “WHAT IS ACTION? Action is commonplace, right action is not. As a discipline, it’s not any kind of action that will do, but directed action.” Ideas are in motion. Directed action is in motion. And if I’m not at least on that path to my version of success by the time I’m 30, then feel free to pull this blog up. Actually please do because it will only have meant that it was easier to right this blog, talking all this smack, then it was to go out and actually get shit done. That when I get past all my bullshit, that writing a blog was just another form of procrastination in disguise. Maybe.
So now you have a good idea of where my head is at these days. And I’m sure from a reductionist standpoint, this can easily be explained as “here’s what’s going on with your brain at 25” or that this is one of those major “turning points” that come throughout our lives. And let’s be honest, without a doubt that’s exactly what I’m experiencing. We don’t always get to choose these turning points though. In some ways I feel that this has been harder to deal with because instead of being left to react to a devastating turning point in my life, I’m now forced to act. This is now on me to figure out what comes next. So if there’s anyone out there reading this going through the same thing, let me know. Make sure I’m not alone on this one ya know? Or if you’ve been down this road and made it out alive, also let me know. Help a dude out. Thanks for reading.