If you’ve already read Is There Another Way to Forgive?, then a lot of this will seem real familiar. Matter of fact, there are sections from that blog that are literally copied and pasted into here. This is less blog as it was a research paper done for one of my writing classes on mental health, however, there’s a twist. Rather than solely focusing on whether or not we could forgive the worst of the worst people in life, this paper focused on what do we do when one of those people found in the wrong is one of our favorite artist. How do we begin to separate the art from the artists, can we do it, and should we do it. I had a good time writing this and as always, the answer is as never as black and white as we would hope.
Question: When we think of some of the worst acts a human can commit either physically or verbally (rape, murder, pedophilia, racists/homophobic remarks), as a society, can we ever truly forgive these people? I mean, should we? Or will we always hold them at the level of the act that they committed? And what about if our beloved idols commits one of these acts of horror? How then do we go about viewing their art? Do we continue to watch their movies and listen to their music as if nothing ever happened, or has the act of what they’ve done tainted their artistry forever?
It may seem like a simple answer to cut them off completely, but it may not be as easy of a task when feelings of love and admiration are deeply intertwined. To separate the art from the artist is like trying to take the milk out of tea after you’ve already poured it in. So then, what do we do, and as Claire Dederer puts it in her piece, What Do We Do with the Art of Monstrous Men: “Who is this “we” that’s always turning up in critical writing anyway? . . . The Real question is this: can I love the art but hate the artist? Can You? When I say we, I mean I. I mean you” (Dederer). I will argue that there is a societal benefit in working to forgive these types of people, if we so choose, but only when certain factors are taken into consideration such as intent, the degree of the crime, accountability, sincere apology, and an earnest effort to right their wrongs through action rather than words alone.
Finding out that your favorite artist has been brought up on allegations of some form of sexual assault or harassment is a headline no one wishes to role out of bed to. But it’s almost inevitable as this is seen all too much. Chris D’Elia, Bassnectar, Michael Jackson, Harvey Weinstein, Louis C.K., R. Kelly, and Bill Cosby, are just a few names on a list that seems to unfortunately have no end in sight, and this doesn’t even begin to cover acts of violence or degrading remarks. Kanye West, Mel Gibson, Will Smith, Chris Brown, Floyd Mayweather, Mike Tyson, Ray Rice, and O.J. Simpson, another list that can go on forever.
For most people, I think it’s safe to say that their initial reaction is to immediately burn any movie, album, painting, or sports jersey that involves the individual involved in the crime. It seems like a rational sensible move, but it’s not until you goto listen to Man in the Mirror, watch Braveheart, or put on your favorite standup, in which all this becomes an issue.
This is where the first signs of hesitation can be found.
Only when someone’s artistry has made a deep impact on our lives do our morals and ethics get truly tested. For me, personally, Chris Brown has never done it for me so when the headlines came out that he had assaulted Rihanna, writing him off came about as easy as breathing. Same with Ray Rice. I’ve always respected him as a player and enjoyed watching him play football, but his impact on my life barely scratched the surface making it another easy decision to throw him in the wastebasket.
I think most people share this sentiment when an issue like this arises, but those are the easy ones. What wasn’t easy was finding out that one of my all-time favorite comedians, Chris D’Elia, and one of my all-time favorite DJs, Bassnectar, were both accused of sexual assault during the pandemic.
Here were two people whom I deeply admired and whose work both have had a huge impact on my life, and then suddenly I was forced to figure out whether or not I should continue to partake in their art. I didn’t need to support them as an individual, but going back to Dederers original question, could I still be ok with consuming their art knowing what they had done? Could I still laugh at Man on Fire and jam out to Raw Charles? At the end of the day there is no clear cut direction one should take when trying to decide between the artist and their art.
It’s messy.
It’s complicated.
And it’s exhausting.
But perhaps there are ways in which we can better navigate these waters when the idea of excommunicating our idols seems too much to bear.
Before we can start to look at how maybe we separate the art from the artist, we first need to understand what is happening in our brains that makes giving up on our favorite songs or movies such a difficult choice. In an article that examined a study which set out to explore what exactly happens to us when we hear our favorite songs compared to a “control song,” the findings were pretty consistent across the board.
When participants heard a song that wasn’t their favorite (the control songs), the hippocampus and auditory cortex were busy forming new connections within the brain (Myers). In essence, they were creating new memories with the songs that they had never heard before as the hippocampus is the area in the brain that is largely responsible for creating and forming new memories (Myers). But when those participants in the study heard their favorite songs, those connections disappeared. They already had memories associated with their favorite songs and it’s those memories that maybe take us back to a special moment in time.
What the study also found was that while listening to their favorite songs, there was a high level of activity in the “default mode network,” a network of interacting brain regions that shifts us from an external state of mind into a more introspective lens (Myers). The outside world fades away and we are left to excavate our internal landscape.
I’m assuming this same process takes place when consuming any form of our favorite art. This is why this task of trying to separate the art from the artist is so hard. Not only is there a flood of dopamine that is released to the brain each and every time we hear our favorite song, watch our favorite movie, or look at our favorite piece of artwork, but we’re also being asked to give up some of our most beloved memories. A task that even someone with a strong degree of will power may find themselves struggling with.
Understanding what’s taking place in the brain is an important step in the process of separating the art from the artist as it highlights two things: First, we learn that we shouldn’t feel a sense of overwhelming guilt if we’re having a hard time letting go of our favorite art or artist. Second, there’s an understanding that this may involve way more than just having strong will power; circle back to trying to take the milk out of the tea.
Plus, all of the people listed above have crimes of varying degrees. To lump them all into the same basket would be foolish. I believe that this is another important factor as we try to make sense of the madness: Intent and the degree of someone’s crime.
When I think of the term “monsters” in this situation, Louis C.K. does not jump to the front of the line for me. Exposing himself to female comedians is absolutely disgusting and not a type of behavior that I condone in the slightest, but is it fair to say that he is a monster in the same way that Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby are monsters?
I’m sure one could argue yes, but the difference for me is again in the degree of the crimes.
C.K. exposed himself to females whereas Cosby drugged and raped multiple women, and Weinstein raped and sexually harassed multiple women as well. There is also a level of remorse from C.K. alongside a heartfelt apology that can’t be seen from either Weinstein or Cosby.
To this day, Cosby still denies the allegations: “‘When I come up for parole, they’re not going to hear me say that I have remorse. I was there. I don’t care what group of people come along and talk about this when they weren’t there. They don’t know’” (Dickson). As for Weinstein, the amount of damage that the man has committed can’t be overlooked in just a day with an apology that felt to come through more as damage control rather than sincerity.
I feel that Weinstein and Cosby were intentional predators in their actions, whereas C.K. feels less predatory and more of a man being a creep. Again, this does not excuse his behavior, but I think it is important to have distinctions when we think about the act that was committed.
Another example that one can look at would be the recent Will Smith and Chris Rock incident at the Oscars. The moment has without a doubt left a sour taste in the mouths of many. But should society boycott the entirety of Will Smith’s work over it? Or can it simply be seen as a moment of weakness where a man’s emotions got the better of him? I would argue that for an incident like that, the shame placed on Smith holds more negative weight than the smack itself––if and only if, there aren’t follow up measures to work to the wrong that was committed.
While intent and varying degree of crimes are just a small piece of the puzzle, a major portion to take into consideration is accountability, apology, and the work to right one’s wrongs through actions and not just words alone as the former means nothing without the latter.
As stated earlier, during the pandemic I rolled out of bed to the news that Chris D’Elia had been accused of sexual harassment of minors alongside grooming them. A whirlwind of emotions overtook me at that moment. Here was a man whose comedic perspective brought levity into my life and now I was supposed to instantly turn my back on him. If that wasn’t bad enough, a few months later the same situation happened with Bassnetar (Lorin Ashton), another artist whose music was a staple in my life and whose live performances have greatly impacted my life.
Unsure of what to do, I tried not to jump to any conclusions right away and patiently waited until all the information was out there. In time, there were two major differences in how these cases were handled and will be a focal point of this piece.
D’Elia had released an initial statement apologizing for his behaviors and then went radio silent as it seems to be the usual PR protocol. Around 8 months after the silence, D’Elia released a 10 minute Youtube video in which not only did he take full responsibility for everything that happened and addressed it all, there was also a tone of sincerity that came through (D’Elia).
This is something that I do not believe can be faked and if someone does try to fake it, it’s about as obvious as denying the fact that they used self tanner. Since the release of that apology and everything that has happened, you can tell that this is now a different man. There is a clear before and after Chris D’Elia that is undeniable. Where this differs from Ashton is while he did release an initial statement apologizing, within the very next sentence he went on to dismiss the rumors:
“I want to take responsibility and accountability. I feel intense compassion for anyone I may have hurt. I truly hope you allow me a chance to work together toward healing. The rumors you are hearing are untrue, but I realize some of my past actions have caused pain, and I am deeply sorry.” (Heffler)
Ashton has since demanded a jury trial for the accusations against him and a statement from his lawyer further denies the situation at hand:
“This case is nothing more than an attempt by opportunistic women who have chosen to sue Ashton, his record label, managers, and even one of the charities he has contributed to, all in an attempt to frame years of friendship as trafficking so that they can exploit a statute for monetary gain.” (Heffler)
Now, could this all be false rumors in the attempts to capitalize “in the era of the #MeToo movement,” as Ashton lawyers put it (Strater)? Absolutely. But something doesn’t sit right with me. With any case such as this, I’m not sure if the public will ever know the full truth as there are always two sides to every story. But I don’t believe that people end up in these types of situations based on pure allegations alone. At the very least, I feel that there is a kernel of truth that is either under or overrepresented.
So the question finally circles back to, “what do we do with their art?” The answer to that question is, it depends.
It depends on the individual in deciding whether or not to still be a consumer of their favorite pieces or art when the artist has been found in the wrong. Some may be able to separate the two without any issues. This is possible. You can still enjoy the art without at all supporting or standing by the artist. On the other side of the spectrum, some may find what the artist did to be inexcusable and disregard them all together. This is also possible and it’s important to note that there isn’t a right or wrong here.
Some days I find myself still jamming out to Bassnectar even though I have mixed feelings about him as a person and the circumstances that he now finds himself in. I think between everything listed––intent, degree of crime, accountability, apology, and actions––this is enough for an individual to come to their own conclusion.
But there’s still an important issue that is worth further discussion. Our favorite idols are only but a small percent of the people who find themselves in these situations. What do we do about the rest of society who find themselves in the same boat? Should we do anything? Should we work to forgive these types of people, or should we leave them locked up without second thought? I believe there is a benefit in working towards forgiveness, and if not possible an understanding at the very least.
This is a topic that I’ve thought about a lot over the years. During the time that I’ve spent thinking about it, I was surprised to see that Donald Trump jumped to mind and that there was a certain level of empathy towards him. All I could think about that day was how much hate that man receives.
It’s safe to say that at one point he was the most hated man in America. An amount of pressure that I’m sure most people would have a hard time handling. I also won’t sit here and argue against the fact that the man most definitely adds fuel to the fire in the department of hate. But does he really enjoy being hated? No one does. At the core, he’s still human, and I don’t think he wants to truly be a jerk (to put it mildly) the same way I don’t think anyone wants to truly commit acts of rape, pedophilia, or murder.
Continuing to think about Trump, I began to wonder if there was a way I could ever see him in a different light, maybe that of a more positive one. As I thought about it, it became a no-brainer. Of course I could, but it wouldn’t happen overnight. If someone wanted to change for the better but had a terrible past, why wouldn’t I let them try? Who am I to even make that call?
Then it hit me.
In my eyes, Trump was easy to forgive. But what about the worst of the worst? Could I forgive a child molester, or rapist, or murderer, if they were looking for a second chance? Could we forgive? Like Trump, I do think it’s possible, but not only does it require the work on their part, again through accountability, apology, and right action, but it also requires work on our part through empathy and by understanding that maybe there’s a degree of luck involved in the fact that we haven’t found ourselves in their shoes.
When I hear of people in these situations, I get upset. I get upset because I think about how lost you have to be in life to commit one of these acts, let alone even consider it.
It’s safe to say that some form of pain is the underlying driving force of all these acts because no one who is well off finds themselves in these situations. This hurt usually starts early in life and will go on to shape the individual. Or it is an abuse of power that comes later in life.
However, there’s the old adage from Voltaire that I think is important to take into consideration: “With great power comes great responsibility.” I don’t say this to excuse the poor actions of an individual, but many of us will never find ourselves in an immense position of power and may never know what it takes to successfully walk that line with right action, and without abusing that power.
The way I think about this is analogous to playing poker.
Playing poker starts with luck (the hand you were dealt), and then skill or a certain level of awareness is needed to understand how to best play the hand. Some of us get lucky and make it through life barely phased. Our parents loved us, we never experienced anything too traumatic, and we had our basic needs met as a kid. In poker, this would be getting pocket Aces. From the start, the odds are in our favor. But then there are the people who get a 2, 7, off-suit, as their hand––the worst hand in poker.
They have terrible genetics or their parents didn’t show them enough attention as a kid. Maybe they could have inherited trauma or had traumatic experiences of their own. Perhaps they were born on the wrong patch of dirt. And maybe they just couldn’t seem to get it right while everyone else could.
I like to think that these people at some point or another tried to play the hand they were dealt to the best of their abilities. But perhaps in those moments, it backfired only to confirm their own ill preconceived notions. Their honest attempt at change only put them further in the hole.
It is nothing more than a terrible hand that turns people towards the darkness.
It’s easy for us to sit there with our pocket Ace’s and cast judgment because pocket Ace’s is all we’ve ever known. But is some of that not luck?
We were lucky to be born into a wholesome family.
We were lucky to not be born into a violent household which tends to produce children who go on to repeat the violence––a cycle that can also be seen with victims of child molestation.
We were lucky to be born into an affluent society, not becoming a product of our environment.
We were lucky to be born into a body that wouldn’t know the first thing about terrible genetics and awful brain chemistry.
We were lucky to be birthed by a woman who wasn’t addicted to drugs or alcohol.
We were lucky to be born in a country that doesn’t know the first thing about the lifestyle of third-world poverty.
We were lucky, but it is this very luck that blinds us.
Even if we were born with pocket 10’s and worked our way up to pocket Aces, once we’ve “made it,” we fall into the trap that everyone should be able to do the same. But we forget that pocket 10’s still beat pocket 9’s, and pocket 9’s still beat a 2, 7, off-suit.
As much as I may be an idealist on this subject, I am not naive to the fact that we can’t just immediately forgive criminals and send them back out into the world––this is where the empathy part comes into play, only if the person who committed the crime has reconciled that what they did is wrong and are working to right those wrongs. As we take a deeper look at ourselves we realize that it could have easily been us if we had the terrible life circumstances that the person did.
With that degree of awareness our level of empathy begins to grow. We may try to fight it and say “I could never have done what they did,” but how can we be so certain of that, again, if pocket aces is all we’ve ever known? When we reach this level of understanding, we’re open to giving people that second shot at life.
The final question I found myself thinking about while working on this piece was “why” should we work to forgive these people and give them a second chance? It made me think back to a book I read, Letting Go by David Hawkins, MD. and PHd. The book was an excellent book in learning to better understand our emotions. What I found interesting though was that he listed the emotions in order from highest vibration to lowest vibration, something I had never thought about or seen before:
- Peace (600)
- Joy (540)
- Love (500)
- Reason (400)
- Acceptance (350)
- Willingness (310)
- Neutrality (250)
- Courage (200)
- Pride (175)
- Anger (150)
- Desire (125)
- Fear (100)
- Grief (75)
- Apathy (50)
- Guilty (30)
- Shame (20) (Hawkins)
This is why I think we need to work on forgiving these people, at the very least, realize that no one ends up in these situations because life treated them well. When we condemn people, not only do we hold them at that lower energy, but we reduce ourselves to the same level of energy. And if that happens on an individual level, then what does that do to us on a collective level?
Again, I’m not condoning any of the behaviors mentioned in this piece. In the end, I feel that the people directly involved with whatever may have happened have the most say in the amount of forgiveness that is called forth. But even these people, I’ve watched and heard them forgive the worst of the worst, and in some cases, even befriend their attackers. It’s time we took this subject and put it in a new light. We’re so quick to play the “devil’s advocate,” but why don’t we ever play “God’s advocate” for those who may need it most? There is a way, and condemnation is not it. Separation is not the answer we’re looking for as it does not benefit society in any way, and only keeps our species from evolving as a whole.
Works Cited
Dederer, Claire. “What Do We Do with the Art of Monstrous Men?” The Paris Review, 7 Mar. 2019, https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2017/11/20/art-monstrous-men/.
D’Elia, Chris. “It’s Been Awhile.” YouTube, YouTube, 19 Feb. 2021, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt6U244bLec.
Dickson, EJ. “Bill Cosby Says He Does Not Express Remorse in Rare Interview.” Rolling Stone, Rolling Stone, 25 Nov. 2019, https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/bill-cosby-interview-remorse-918342/
Hawkins, David R. Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender. Hay House, Inc., 2012.
Heffler, Jason. “Bassnectar Responds to Explosive Sex Trafficking Lawsuit, Denies Allegations.” EDM.com – The Latest Electronic Dance Music News, Reviews & Artists, EDM.com – The Latest Electronic Dance Music News, Reviews & Artists, 22 July 2021, https://edm.com/news/bassnectar-denies-allegations-in-sex-trafficking-lawsuit.
Myers, Courtney. “What Really Happens to Our Brain When We Hear Our Favorite Song? – MTT.” Music Think Tank, https://www.musicthinktank.com/blog/what-really-happens-to-our-brain-when-we-hear-our-favorite-s.html. Strater, Zac. “Bassnectar’s Case Has Begun Discovery Process with His Trial Pending for 2023.” Exron Music, 24 Apr. 2022, https://exronmusic.com/2022/04/24/bassnectars-lawsuit-case-discovery-process-trial-pending/.